February 12, 2004
How Many 'Mercury' Valentines Did We Get This Year?
Since we never receive any valentines via The Portland Mercury, we thought we'd browse this year's collection to see if there are any more general missives into which we could inject ourselves:
To Portland's Microbrew Swillers, Thank you for letting my utterly insipid visage grace your otherwise tasteful town. Love, The giant neon Budweiser sign on the tower off Sandy Blvd
...
i love you portland and to all of the hipsters and friendsters out there, xo
Yes, the pickings are slim this year. Every other submission is so woefully tied to specifics that we are left with a grand total of a mere two shout outs to Portlanders at large, which of course is a category to which, it's safe to say, we belong. And, frankly, we're not too sure they project quite the air of ardor one perhaps might expect from such things.
Where's the love? Where's the abiding passion? Ah, Hell -- just send money.