February 13, 2003
'Mercury' Valentine Time
Alas, there do no appear to be any Valentines to me amongst reader submissions to the Portland Mercury this year. However, here are two of my favorites:
HAPPY V-DAY TO Porn. Thanks for being there when I need you most. I love your super-fast download times and kazaa searches like "asian bdsm latex dildo." You are truely [sic] wonderful.
and
LOVE IS LIKE a big dump! once I took a dump so big, I had to go twice. -jeff
If you're too lazy to go pick up a copy of the Mercury so that you can wade through this annual Portland tradition, just read them on the Mercury website.