February 28, 2003
'Hipster/Indyrocker Feeder March'
Well, this is far too amusing not to pass along in full:
A hipster/indyrocker feeder march is planned for the anti-war action in Portland March 15th. The march will begin at 1:00 at Stumptown Coffee Roasters on Belmont. From there the march will proceed, stopping at the Blackbird, Jackpot records, the Red Light, and ultimately rallying in front of the Portland Mercury office, where hipsters and indyrockers will demand that the Mercury suspend all news on politics to focus solely on music, movie listings, and an expansion of the Savage Love column. They will also demand larger columns for Stumptown Coffee advertising.
"This will send a clear message to the public," said organizer Elliot Smith, brushing his mop of hair out of his eyes, "that hipsters and indyrockers demand an end to war, which seriously detracts from shopping at retro stores that buy their clothes from Goodwill and then mark up the prices 500%. No more will we allow this desecration to go on in our name!"
Hutch Harris, spokesman for "The Polyester Bloc" said that his affinity group will send a unified message, "Drop Dockers, not Bombs!"
The end of the rally will feature music by The Swords Project and The Thermals and many other bands with the words "The" and "Project" in their name. That is, if the crowd hasn’t gone home by then, because, hey, it’s not all that cool to care about anything.
Just what the motivation was behind this post, I have utterly no clue.